Women Stand United Against All That Ales Us Financially And Economically

SANCTUARY FOR THE ABUSED

2005-10-11T13:08:00.000-07:00

The New Species Of Abuse

2005-10-11T10:57:00.000-07:00

The New Species Of Abuse Is A New Generation Of Violation Of Women's Rights. I Know That In Some Instances, Women Take The Women's Movement Too Far. There Are Two Sides To Every Story. But In This Case, Not Here.

We (My Lady People And I) Are Not Victims Of Emotional Abuse. Its Social Financial Circumstancial And Economical Abuse And Neglect And Can Be Dubiously Considered A Form Of Emotional Abuse & Neglect.

We Are In A Generation In Which Stay At Home Moms Or Work At Home Moms Are The Norm. We Do This To Love & Stay Close To Our Kids And Care For The Home Without The Control Of A Male Chauvinistic Or Childless Woman Boss Who Doesn't Understand That When Our Kids Trip Over The Sprinklers At The School Playground And Crack Their Heads Open Or When Lunch At School Has Made Them Sick And We Have To Leave Work To Take Them To The ER Or To The Doctor And We Don't Want Some Boss Telling Us That Our Jobs Will Be In Jeopardy If We Leave During Work. I Am One Of The Many Who Would Then Say "I Quit And I'm Suing You For Discrimination & Violation Of The Family Medical Leave Act" And There Are Moms That Have To Work And Have Understanding Bosses, But Have To Come Home And Take Care Of Kids After 8-12 Hour Work Days But The Kids Are Emotionally Suffering Because Mom Needs To Be There.

And The Kicker Is That The Men In Our Lives Work Long Days Too But Do Not Recognize Nor Appreciate That So Do We And Responsibility Is About More Than Just Providing The Money. So Do Work At Home Moms Have It Any Less Stressful? No. Because Its Hard To Build An Online Income As I Know Better Than A Lot Of People. But The Price I Pay Has Been To Have To Steal Control Of The Finances. And I Have To Be Degraded When He Leaves His Dirt All Over The House When He Comes Home After I Just Spent All Day Working Online And Cleaning The House. The Men That Are In The Lives Of Me And My Lady People Think That The Men Feel They Have The Right To Spend Out Of Control On Toys That Aren't Needed All The While Not Allowing Us To Pay Our Bills While They Do Nothing More Than Just Go To A Job. They Think That The End Of Their Work Day Is The End Of Work. A Job Is Just A Necessary Evil. The Real Work Is In The Homes We Spend This Money On To Live In. It Is Making Sure That All Needs Are Met. Its Making Sure That Everyone Is Happy & Healthy. It Is Doing The Housework. Its Running Errands, Its Grocery Shopping. Its Making Dinner. Its Doing Homework With The Kids. Its Telling Bedtime Stories Or Nightly Prayers. Its Staying Up Long Into The Night Till 2-3 AM To Make Sure That Everything Gets Done And Up Again At 7 AM To Get Kids To Daycare And School Then Off To Work & Church Functions And PTA Meetings And To The Post Office, To The Bank, To The Dry Cleaners - Wherever. Home Life Is Not Just 9-5.

And It Makes Me Unhappy To Be Treated Like A Slave To A Man I Don't Love Because Of All This And Because He's Not Of The Same Religion And Fear That One Day I Will Fall Apart And Go Off And Because George Can That He Will Kick Me Out With My Son With No Where Else To Go Because I Know He Would. And Many Of The Women Just Like Me Can't Afford To Escape This Because We Know That It Puts Our Kids Financial Security At Risk. Bottom Line, Its Emotional Blackmail That We Find Ourselves Being Subjected To And Being Passive/Agressive About. But It Is Abuse. Maybe We're Safe And Maybe We Don't Have To Go Out Tomorrow With Fat Lips And Broken Ribs Because Of Men. But It Goes Past The Surface.

As Women, We Need To Approach It And Deal With It. I Know For Me Its Not Going To Continue. Nicholas And I Are Getting Away From George Soon. I Honestly Don't Think The Right Moment Is Going To Exist. I'm Not Going To Wait For It. Its Not Going To Be Easy, I'm Afraid Of Other Things He Can And Probably Will Do To Me. But Once He Is Gone, And We Are Happier, Nicholas And I Can Go Forward With Our Faith In God And That We Will Be Provided For. I Just Can't Take It Anymore And I Won't. Nicholas And I Are Worth And Deserving Of So Much More. We Deserve To Be Loved And Cared For By God And The Savior For The Good People We Are And Because We Chose To Follow Gods Will. I Will Let You Know What Happens With Me.

As For The Rest Of You, I Hope You Can Get The Help You Need Whether These Are The Very Issues You Deal With Or If Domestic Violence Is What You Are Suffering Through. God Bless You All. God Speed You Sanctity. Here Is A Wonderful Blog Full Of Resources For Abuse Victims. I Hope That It Helps. Shanni

What's Best For Us And Our Kids

2005-10-09T16:33:00.000-07:00

I Don't Think That The Intention Of This Blog Is Clear And For That I Am So Sorry. I Created This Blog And The Escape Club For The Sake Of Helping People In Debt Especially Ones Who, Like Me, Are Stuck In Bad Relationships Because Of Debt Or Lack Of Money. Mine Is Not An Abusive Relationship, But I Refer To My Insignificant Other As My Roommate Because That's All He Is. But He Can't Know This Because He Isn't Man Enough To Act In The Best Interest Of A Mother And Child And I Can't Tell Him What's Really Going On Because He Will Insist That I Leave And Take Nicholas With Me Before We Are Ready. The Truth Is, He Is Proven This To Me And That's One Reason Why I Found That There Is Little Love Left For Him If Any At All And I Would Sacrifice My Own Mother For My Kids If I Had To. I've Had To Do It Before As Hard As It Is. I Never Want To Have To Do It. But The Point Is, Any Sacrifice I Make No Matter How Hard It Is, Is For My Children And When That Is The Case, Which It Often Is, Its Not So Much As A Sacrifice. But We Go Through So Much In Taking Care Of Our Kids That It Takes A Lot Out Of Us. This Man Has No Idea How To Access This Network Or Where To Go. I Built This New Network Because He Knew The Simple Basics Of Finding My Other Network Which I Now Use Only As Traffic Into Here Or For Marketing/Affiliate Space. I Have A Hard Time Finding This Place In Search Engines And I'm An Expert! So Yes, I Feel Confident That I Can Post Whatever I Want Here And He'll Never Catch Wind. But Since I Still Cross My T's And Dot My I's I'm Still As Careful As Possible.

The Reason That This Blog Is Called Women Stand United Is That I Know So Many Other Women Caught Up In This Financial Trap And Because The Last Days Are Fast Upon Us, We Need To Get Our Homes In Order. It Was Weird Because In Gospel Essentials Today, Brother Shefer's Lesson Was On Christ And The Second Coming. He Mentioned "Getting Our Homes In Order". My Friend Gracie Couldn't Make It To Church Today (Brother And Sister Ostler Missed Her Too) And Didn't Know Because I Hadn't Mentioned It Until Afterwards Pretty Much Mentioned Those Words As Well When I Spoke To Her A Little While Ago. Is This A Prompting Of The Holy Ghost? I Certainly Think So.

Women Stand United Is For Everyone Involved In Relationships Like Mine That They Must Remain In For The Time Being Simply Due To Finances. I Know How Badly That Sucks. In My Situation, My Bishop Has A Policy That If A Couple Who Aren't Married Are Living Together They Can't Get Help Even If There Are Children Involved, Especially Where There Are Children Involved (Its The Concept Of Tough Love, But Its A Point That Some People Like Me Already Get). I Just Get To Pay For Other People's Mistakes. He Helps Me To The Very Bare Minimum Because He Knows That I Am Only Here For The Money. I Know I Need To Get Out For My Family's Sake. The Fact That I Don't Love This Man Makes It So Much Easier. I'm Lucky. For The Simple Fact That I Can't Begin My Repentance Process After Coming Back To Church Because I'm Stuck Here Makes Me Want Out More Than Ever. Because He's Not LDS (Another Great Reason For Wanting Out) He Thinks Its Okay For Me To Live Like This As Though He's Not Doing Anything Wrong And I'm Not. Yes It Is. I Hate It When I Can't Do Exactly What God Wants Me To Do. When I Got With Him, I Wasn't Going To Church So It Was Acceptable To Live With Him At The Time In My Opinion. I Know How Wrong I Was And Boy Am I Ever Sorry....

However, Ladies, I Have Learned A Lot Along The Way Which I Have Been Grateful For Because I Know All Too Well The Importance Of Learning Well From All That Happens To A Person In Life. I Want The Knowledge That I Have Gained To Help Everyone In My Life And Many More Of You Good Women, Mothers And Others. Help Is Something That Is A Scarce Commodity Especially Financially. But I Do Have A Plan Already In Tact. I Am Not Publicly Sharing It Just Yet Because Its An Unofficial Unwritten Plan That Is Still In Development, But At Least I Am Making The Waves As Far As Its Progress Is Concerned. There Is A Lot To Do Ladies, And Its Not Hard So The First Thing I Will Tell You Is To Start Now. Start By Getting A Few Basic Things, Then I Will Cover The Rest In Great Detail Later.

You Will Need To Work On Several Things At Once. Sometimes We Become Unable To Do One Thing, But Don't Waste The Time You Wanted To Spend Doing It On One Thing Because You Can't Do That One Thing - Do Another. Use Your Time Wisely. If You Can't Do One Thing, Do Another. Sometimes Its A Work In Progress.
Get Your Diploma Or Degree. Become Employed At Least Part Time Outside The Home If Possible. The Work At Home Idea Is My Preferred Method, But I Also Know That When You Go To Conjure Up A New Home That They Will Look For Job Stability. Another Thing Here Is That Having A Part Time Job Will Help Lessen Some Of Your Financial Burdens And Hopefully If You Are Able To Out Of The Money You Get, Put Money Aside Even If It Is Just A Few Bucks Or Spare Change Or $5-10. It Doesn't Seem Like Much Folks, But Over Time, It Adds Up. Put It In A Safe Place Where No One Can Get To It. Don't Tell Anyone About It And Keep That Safe. I Have A Briefcase With Combo Locks On Both Sides For Security And The Combos Are Different On Both Sides. I Have Had This Briefcase For 7 Years And To This Day There Are 2 People That Know The Combo - Me And God And I Know He's Not Talking. Keep Your Money And Your Plans In There. (I Have A Life Insurance Policy I'm Getting Ready To Start As Soon As I Can Get The Start Up Fees For It And "The Roommate" Has No Idea That The Health Insurance I've Been Trying To Get Him Help Me Set Up Financially Is Connected To My Life Insurance With The Universal Savings Benefit With It.).I'm Setting Up These Policies To Have A Backup Resource Shall We Fall On Hard Times Again.
If You Are Like Me, You Probably Have Unpaid Previous Utility Bills. I Know I Do. It Sucks To Have To Pay On Past Bills When You Are Planning For The Future, But Ya Gotta. You Will Need Your Utilities In Your Name Should You Need To Be The One To Move Out Like I Will Be The One To In My Situation. I've Already Put The POWER In My Name. And That Is An Empowering Statement Right There If You Read Between The Lines. I Had To Because When We Moved From Our One Bedroom Into Our Two Bedroom (The Reason We Moved) We Were Completely Delinquent. Shortly After We Moved In Here, The Power Company Turned The Power Off Over There (Part Of The Reason Why It Got Turned Off Is Because He's Putting Money Into A Useless Car That Won't Be Drivable For Months). To Boot, He Was Too Lazy And Irresponsible To Call And Resolve The Situation. We Were About To Get Into Legal Trouble Because We Had Not Switched The Power And Our Apartment Manager Was Warning Us To Switch The Power Over To Us. I Was SOOO Mad. I'm Thinking I'm Not Getting Into Trouble Because He's Not Responsible. The Bishop Had Cut A Check For A Power Deposit Written Out To The Power Company. I Knew That The Roommate Was Not Going To Take Care Of It. But I Had No Access To His Account So I Couldn't Work With His Account. What To Do - Be Smart - See If I Could Settle My Old Debt And Reconnect The Power In My Name. I'm Smart Like This Constantly. I Have To Be To Be A Good Mother. I Called Up The Power Company And Got It Set Up In My Name. I Had To Pay A Reconnect Deposit Too Because Of My Past Delinquency, But I Had The Check From The Bishop So I Was Able To Pay The Check And Set Up The Power In My Name So I Would Have Control Of It In The Future. This Will Build Credit Ladies Which Is What We Will All Need. Power Up. Even If You Can't Put The Bills In Your Name, If You Have Past Utility Delinquencies, Settle Them With Your Utility Companies. Try To Pay Them So That If You Need To Move Quickly Into A New Home That You Will Be Able To Do So. And At Least As Well Also You WIll Get The Debt Off Your Conscience And Being In The Position To Make Changes Like As With All The Changes We Are All Needing To Make, Will Help You And Your Families Be Better Off In The Long Run. Overall In More Ways Than Just The Phone, Electricity, Heat, Water, Sewer Trash And Other Home Maintenance Utilities Is This - We All Need To Learn To Utilize In So Many Ways If We Are Going To Break Away! Its A Trade That If We Can Master Will Make Us Completely Empowered To Make This Life Change Safely And Without More Ramifications To Contend With Or Fear. Utilize Your Wisdom And Strength. No Amount Of Money Will Help You More.

Here Is A Work Opportunity That Will Help You. I Am Working On This One As Well As Utilizing These Other Great Suggestions - I Have Set Up A Blog Called Home Job Resource That I Have Yet To Do Much With Because I've Been Focusing More On The Family & Religious Schematics Of This Network But That I Have Plans To Use, Is This Opportunity. Its Called Custom Super Homes / The Money Manual. It Is Realtors Website That Helps You Get Started In Real Estate And Has Cut Out A Lot Of The Middle Man Crap. Its A Really Wonderful Resource Especially Since Participants Can UTILIZE This Plan For Making A Great Income And Being One Of Your Own Clients. You Can Literally Kill 2 Birds With One Stone. If You Want, Check It Out. Once You Sign Up, Go To The EB Pro 101 Area To Get Started If You Want To Implement A Referral Program In With Your Quest With This Opportunity. Check Back Also With My Home Job Resource Blog Because I Will Be Updating It Very Shortly For Everyone To Use.

I Will Have To Continue This Post At A Later Time. In Sitting Here Posting, I Just Had Our Loud Neighbors Upstairs Make A Light Fixture In Our Ceiling Come Out Of Its Case And Have To Deal With That (I Hate Being A Mom Who Lives DOWNSTAIRS From A Household Of Partiers). I'll Be Back.

So I'm Back, But After Dealing With This Neighbor Situation, My Darling Friend Bree Called Me Up And Was Upset. Without Getting Too Personal In Her Life, She Has 2 Grown Men In Her Home, One Is Her Husband Who Is Her Sons Dad And The Other Is Our Friends Husband Who Is Currently Staying With Them Because He And His Wife Lost Their Home And Are Having The Same Problems For The Same Reason And Had Nowhere To Go. Bree Works Full Time At A Youth Correctional Facility. She Has Such A Beautiful 1 1/2 Year Old Little Boy (Whom We Love & Adore To Death) And They Both Have To Get Up And Be Out The Door By 6 AM Every Morning So Mommy (Nicholas' "Aunt Bree") Can Go To Work. But Daddy Is Another Irresponsible Man Like My "Roommate" Who Doesn't Help With The Baby Or Housework (He's Another One Who Stays Up All Hours Of The Night Doing Nothing But Playing Games On The Computer). Every Day Bree Goes To Work, Comes Home Takes Care Of Baby After Dealing With Troubled Teens All Day Which I Could Only Imagine Is Exhausting Itself, She Has To Clean Up The House And Get Dinner Going.
So My Bree Called Me Up Crying. She Knows I Can Relate And Be A Shoulder To Cry On. I Hate To See My Friends, Family And People In These Messes. And It Just Makes Me Mad That Men Are Putting Us Through This. Its Unfortunate That She's Tired Exhausted Being A Mom Who Complains If She Wants To Go To The Hot Tub At Our Apartment Complex With Me Because He'd Have To Take Care Of The Baby Who Usually By This Time Is Asleep Anyways. But It Just Goes To Show That DMS (Dysfunctional Man/Men Syndrome) Exists And Its Getting To Be A Serious Crisis. It Makes Me Glad That This Blog Exists To Be Able To Hopefully Provide Help For People In These Situations. I'm Going To Be Helping Everyone That I Can. I Do Know That There Are Two Sides To Every Story. My Niece Has 2 Kids And Because She Is A Shop-A-Holic And Her And Her Kids Are Well Dressed, They Lost Their Home And Lived With My Sister For A While And Are Just Now Getting Back On Their Feet.

What Is With People? I Hope Things Change Soon. I'm Here To Help. Please Send Me An Email (Please Don't Change The Subject Line In The Email. I Get A Lot Of Mail At That Email Address And I Don't Want To Mistake It For Spam Or Unwanted Email And Accidentally Delete It Because I Really Want To Help You And If You Have A Serious Situation, I Don't Want You To Publish It Publicly For Your Sake And Safety. I Will Help You In Every Way Possible. I Will Set Up A Personal Consultation Form Soon Because I Am Going To Be Setting Up Information Resources & Helpful Services For Everyone Of You That I Can. I Am Where You Are. If I Can Help You I Would Love To. I Don't Judge People Because I Have Made All Too Many Bad Mistakes In Life Myself. But I Know That The Right Turns We Take In Life Will Help Us The Most To Love And Raise Our Families Right And Be Healthy And Happy. I Want You To Know I Care Or I Wouldn't Be Have This Blog Up. This Place Needs To Be A Place Where WOMEN STAND UNITED So We Can Raise Healthy Happy Beautiful Families Independently! Thank You For Your Support - Shanni

LDS Family Webring

2005-09-28T10:29:00.000-07:00

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2005-09-27T21:34:00.000-07:00

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2005-09-27T21:31:00.000-07:00

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2005-09-27T21:30:00.000-07:00

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Spa Wish

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2005-09-27T21:07:00.000-07:00

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2005-09-27T21:06:00.000-07:00

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Ivillage Take The Perfect Partner Test

2005-09-27T20:52:00.000-07:00

I Mean I Really Can't Believe I'm Offering This, But For Some Of You Women, You May Be In Great Relationships That Are Meant Just For You And Are Right That Just Need A Tiny Little Bit Of Help. Mine Is Truly Hopeless. Convincing Him That He Needs To Grow Up, Hopeless. Its The Pride Ladies. And While They Expect Us To Stroke Their Egos, Our Worlds Fall Apart Because They're Boys Who Think They Can Be Men. Wrong!